"Authentic Friendship in an Age of Social Media" Coverage by Yours Truly

As I shared yesterday, I've written a couple of articles for The Catholic Post's last print issue.

One that didn't make it to The Post website was a story about the terrific First Saturday gathering  covered for The Post the First Saturday gathering, "Authentic Friendship in an Age of Social Media" last month.

What a fun, lovely evening--I for one am so grateful to people like Marie from "Help Them to Heaven" and the First Saturday team, a group of great women, for organizing the event.  I very much enjoyed the real life time with friends, getting to meet some people I didn't (including one that I taught when I was briefly a high school teacher!), and just having an all-around enjoyable time.

I'm going to share some photos, as well as a version of the print story.  As I mentioned yesterday, most of the photos I took with my husband's very nice camera all came out looking like cell phone snaps, and I do promise to learn how to use it better before I use it again.  So be forewarned, but I think the smiles and the fun make up for it.

First, some photos:

Here's Bonnie Engstrom of A Knotted Life and Lisa Schmidt of The Practicing Catholic (one of the evening's speakers).  As you can see from the sidebar, I truly consider Lisa an honorary member of the Peoria diocese (along with Sister Helena Burns, the other speaker.  Lisa is just lovely in person.

Here is Lisa with Dianna Kennedy of The Kennedy Adventures.  She is one of a group of bloggers from other states who were hoping to make it to the Authentic Friendship talk.  It was kind of like Behold Conference "lite," since there won't be a Behold until 2014.  (Never fear--plans are already underway for the 2104 Behold Conference, and I'm delighted to be part of it).  Unfortunately, the weather was icy Friday night into Saturday morning, so the rest were unable to travel.

Again, Dianna is beautiful and so incredibly much fun to be with.  I'm not sure if it's her southern accent, her spunky one-liners, or her high energy, but she was like a jolt of java to be around.

Dianna had asked before her trip if any of us local ladies were runners and wanted to run with her.  She's training for a half-marathon, and so I and another local woman (who is also training for a half), made a plan to run Saturday morning on Grandview Drive.  The icy weather forced us to cancel, but I am definitely taking a rain/ice check on that one, since she would be a great running buddy.  The miles would fly by running with this gal.

Here are Bonnie and Marie.

I brought my teen daughter to the evening, and both of us were very excited to see Sister Helena Burns again.  I said, "Let me get a photo!" and my teen, in typical teen fashion, said, "Mom!"  So Sister Helena recommended they pose like this:

Because Moms who take photos are so embarrassing.

That's better!  As you can see, teen is still exasperated by her mom.

Here is the dinner before the First Saturday gathering. 

Dianna Kennedy and Lisa Schmidt

And Lisa Schmidt again with Marie.  Lisa is very photogenic!

There were also various other photos, including several funny ones of Lisa Schmidt and Sister Helena that inspired laughs on Facebook, but I will let Lisa Schmidt incriminate herself with those.  

Finally, here is my article about the evening:

Online relationships offer the opportunity for “deep friendships” and evangelization, two new media experts told a group of Catholic women.

“Authentic Friendship in an Age of Social Media” was the topic of the February 2 program at St. Philomena Church in Peoria.  The talk was sponsored by the “First Saturday” program, a monthly gathering open to women of all parishes, ages and vocations.  According to Marie Meints, a member of the seven-women team from various Peoria-area parishes, First Saturday focus on fellowship and discussion for women seeking to grow in holiness in everyday life.

More than 60 women gathered for the February 2 talk, from around the central Illinois area and beyond.  About half that number gathered for a pre-talk dinner.

Sister Helena Burns, a Daughter of St. Paul, who is based in Chicago, IL, but travels the country speaking about media literacy, “Theology of the Body,” and online topics, spoke on how the Internet is an vital place for Catholics to be and to find friends.

“I was surprised by the deep friendships you can have in 140 characters,” said Sister Helena, referring to the length of Twitter status updates.

Sister Helena explained how Father James Alberione, founder of the Daughters of St. Paul, told his followers to “use the fastest and latest means” to spread the Gospel message.  In the 21st century, blogs, social media such as Facebook, and other online platforms, is the “fastest” means to reach people and foster friendships.

That doesn’t mean doing things perfectly all the time.

“You’ve got to make some mistakes online,” Sister Helena said, and shared times that she had been too hasty, or too trusting, in her online interactions with others.  Making mistakes is part of the learning process.

Sister Helena argued that while in-person communication is preferred because we are “incarnational,” those we interact with online have “real souls and real bodies.”  She quoted from Benedict XVI’s message for the World Communications Day: “The digital environment is not a parallel or purely virtual world, but is part of the daily experience of many people, especially the young.”

Blessed John Paul II’s “Theology of the Body” provides a template not just for married love, but every relationship, including and perhaps especially those online, according to Sister Helena.

“We want to be known at our deepest level, and know others at deeper level,” she said. And intimacy with God promotes deeper relationships with others: “The “realer” God becomes to us, the “realer” other people become to us.”

Lisa Schmidt, from Des Moines, Iowa, who blogs at “The Practicing Catholic,” (www.thepracticingcatholic.com), also spoke at the “Authentic Friendship” program.

Schmidt, who lives with her husband and two small children in Des Moines, Iowa, shared how “spiritual friendships” helped her conquer the loneliness that she felt when she left her career in city management in Iowa to stay home with her then infant daughter.

“And I don’t think I’m alone here, pun intended, in experiencing (this loneliness),” Schmidt said.  She revealed how the online world of Catholic “mommy blogs” helped her find like-minded friends and forge friendships based on “who God is calling you to be.”

Schmidt shared that “ambient intimacy,” the term used to describe the connectedness of the digital age, allows people “to keep in touch with a level of intimacy that you wouldn’t usually have access to, because time and space conspire to make it impossible.”

“Little by little, our spiritual friendships have the power to become apostolic,” said Schmidt. “A spiritual friend will lead you toward Christ, you then help your friends to be reconciled or converted and to grow in the life of the Church, those friends then go forth and do more of the same. Collectively, we evangelize and sanctify the culture in which we live. Could spiritual friendships be the key to the transformation of our culture?”

At the same time online life can be good for the soul, knowing when to “unplug” and connect in real life is critical.  Sister Helena argued that there are three “sacred places and sacred times” we don’t need “screens,” whether televisions, computers or mobile devices: at church, in the bedroom, and the dinner table.

Sister Helena explained a new tradition to promote real-life intimacy called a “phone stack” used by some young people while eating out.  At the beginning of a meal, all leave their phones stacked in the middle of the table.  The first person to reach for his or her phone pays for the meal.

Scripture offers the secret of what’s so great about friendship, both online and in real life experience, Lisa Schmidt argued, quoting from Sirach 6:16.  “A faithful friend is an elixir of life.”

“What’s an elixir?  It’s a life-saving medicine,” said Schmidt.  “Wow, a spiritual friend is like a life-saving medicine?  What a beautiful gift!”

"Choose to Eat Mindfully and Prayerfully:" A Guest Post Reflecting on "Cravings" UPDATED

Update: I've updated this post to reflect more of how this guest post came to be written and shared here. 

When I was getting ready to review Cravings by Mary DeTurris Poust, I knew another person whose feedback I wanted was my dear friend and fellow blogger Marcia Mattern of "I Wonder Why."  Mostly, I wanted someone more "expert" than I to read the book.

It was really helpful to get some thoughts and ideas, since Marcia has a background in nutrition and is a deep thinker when it comes to spiritual things.  After a fun (dare I say mindful?) talk over coffee and treats last month, Marcia shared that she, like me, found Cravings a great read and very thoughtful.

She also said there were quite a few books written by dietitians on these themes, especially mindful eating, ones not mentioned in Mary's excellent bibliography.  Marcia also liked, as did I, how Mary drew on different religious traditions, but noticed that Eastern Catholic thought was not represented.  Since Marcia's family often worships at a Byzantine Catholic parish, I asked her to write a guest post for Reading Catholic, sharing some of the other resources, and even bringing in Eastern Catholic thought on food and eating.  

Once Marcia sent me this reflection on Cravings, I shared with her that it was more like a reflection than instructive, and would really benefit from photos.  That's how I looked around for some photos from my library (of coffee and chocolate, as if there were any doubt!) and asked Marcia for some other ones, and she graciously shared.  

I've updated this post to reflect some of the additional books that are helpful for additional reading, as well as some of Marcia's prior writing on these issues.  I think they make a good complement to Marcia's guest post, as well as provide additional reading for those interested.

Thanks to Marcia, for being willing and for reflecting on these themes so beautifully.  And thanks to Mary, for writing such a timely book, Cravings, that inspires discussion and reflection on these themes.

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It's all the hype in early January.  What ever shall you do to lose that weight?  Eat differently, right?  And we make great lofty plans...But now it's nearly the end of January and...  poof.

We are back to our "regular" eating habits.

But what is regular, healthy, normal eating?  Is it the Paleo, the vegan, the TLC diet, the DASH diet, the raw food diet?  We try various approaches with hope and goals in mind.

Some believe that the best diet for you is the one that you choose and are able to stick to the rest of your life.  Does the word "diet" present challenges for us? Might we instead speak of our relationship with food?  Mary DeTurris Poust skillfully discusses this in her book, Cravings:A Catholic Wrestles with Food, Self-Image and God.

Think you can do that with the Paleo?  Probably not.  Can you go without meat or eggs or milk the rest of your life?  Perhaps no.

But you can choose to eat mindfully and prayerfully the rest of your life.

If we think of food as simply nourishment for our physical self, then choosing more grains and vegetables with smart meats sounds ideal.  But we have options for chocolate and candy at our disposal.  Aren't they tasty too?   There is room for everything wonderful (and not so wonderful) in this world in our diet.

What if we ate what we wanted and liked, but carefully opted for being thankful before, during and after it?

God has given us a bounty of goodness.

How often do we just hurry through our eating without having tasted anything past the first mouthful? When I slow down and taste the goodness of food, I am encountering something of the goodness of the Lord.

So how do we practice being thankful and mindful during eating?

We can begin by a prayer before every meal.   You might think this simple, but do you ever miss a prayer before a meal?  Remember the meal you ate in the car?  Over the kitchen counter?  Those are meals too!   What if you prayed over the cookie you got at the drive thru with your coffee?

If a prayer before meals is a habit for you already, how about choosing a personal prayer rather than the memorized prayer?  We say in the Creed each week "I believe in God the Father, creator of heaven and earth...". So why not begin by thanking THE ONE, in your own words, who creates the substance from which all our foods come?

To begin first pause, to recognize his presence.  Then say in your own words what you want to say.  It could be: "Thank you God for this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Make it nourishing to my body.  Help me to feel full and strong to accomplish my work today. Amen."

Simple?   Yes.  Mindful?  Yes.

Next stop during your eating and thinking about what you enjoy.  Take a moment to again thank God for it.

" Wow, God.   You created some amazing things for me.  Today this peanut butter is salty.  The strawberries in this jelly is so sweet. I enjoy this very much!"

And again when your meal is over.  Once again thank Him.

"I'm full, God.  Thanks again for making this world for me.   Help me to remember how great this lunch was when I get distracted from all your gifts for me today. Amen."

So what if mindful prayers over food has already become habitual for you?   Can you add to your prayer even more?  Would being prayerful about each mouthful you take impact what kinds of foods you eat?  Would you choose a greater variety of foods this way?  Would you be less likely to mindlessly eat a whole bag of cookies or things less healthful for your physical self?

What IS the connection between faith and food?

It's the abundant blessing that God has already provided for us his sheep (John 10).

It's Eve and Adam when they allowed their physical passions to contribute to broken communion with God (Genesis 3).

It's God continuing to see our fragile humanity and providing always for our physical need of food even in the desert (Exodus 16 and Numbers 11).

It's the restoration to wholeness at the Eucharistic Banquet (John 6).

God creates us in his image.   We reflect His image when we foster growth of the virtues gifted at our baptism.  When we see the greatness of God and desire to know him more, this honors Him.  We are responding to His love for our human needs and this draws us closer to Him.    But we don't live our our faith in isolation.  We live it with others!  We participate in the Liturgy with others each time we go to Mass.

Eating and sharing a meal is sacramental and has a foundation in the very life of the sacramental economy. When we receive the Eucharistic presence of Christ as food, we are nourished. Eating is a profound form of communion!

Research over the past few years has linked families eating together with healthier lives.  It's not just about the food you consume, but also the smiles, laughter and chatter around the table.  Building relationships with those we eat in our own home is basic to life.  We know this about the Liturgy as well.  We worship, adore, petition and praise as well as consume the Body and Blood of our Lord Jesus Christ with others that profess the faith with us.  And those we eat with can encourage us to eat better.  Just as those who we worship (and eat the Blessed Sacrament with) encourage us in our life of faith.

It's still January.  Let's begin again towards a better relationship with food.  Can we make a new step in growing in love of God as we draw closer to Him around the table?  The mindfulness we have at prayer over food is a step toward living healthfully.  We can find persons (even in our own family) to help us make wise choices each day and support us in those good decisions.  Embrace the gift of normal, regular eating God has given us and thank Him.

For further reading and exploration:

21 Days of Eating Mindfully: Your Guide to a Healthy Relationship with Yourself and Food by Lorrie Jones.

Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole

Breaking Free from Emotional Eating by Geneen Roth.

Marcia has also written about food and Eastern Catholic thought on her blog, "I Wonder Why."  Here are just a few posts that relate to the spirituality of food.

The St. Phillips Fast

Adjusting to new circumstances: home management meets food changes.

What are we eating.  Marcia's written a number of times about The China Study (I'm not a fan, which has made for interesting discussions around the dinner table when our families gather, wink), and her entire family at least once has done the book's 30- day vegan challenge.

Marcia Mattern fosters wonder and awe with her husband and six children around their dinner table and at the door of the refrigerator.  Her experience as a Registered Dietitian and conversion to Catholicism has impacted her study of food and faith.

Three Quotes for the Feast of St. Francis de Sales

"Have patience with all things, But, first of all with yourself." 

--St Francis de Sales (from Catholic Digest's Quiet Moment for today)

I say that devotion must be practised in different ways by the nobleman and by the working man, by the servant and by the prince, by the widow, by the unmarried girl and by the married woman. But even this distinction is not sufficient; for the practice of devotion must be adapted to the strength, to the occupation and to the duties of each one in particular.

Tell me, please, my Philothea, whether it is proper for a bishop to want to lead a solitary life like a Carthusian; or for married people to be no more concerned than a Capuchin about increasing their income; or for a working man to spend his whole day in church like a religious; or on the other hand for a religious to be constantly exposed like a bishop to all the events and circumstances that bear on the needs of our neighbour. Is not this sort of devotion ridiculous, unorganised and intolerable? Yet this absurd error occurs very frequently, but in no way does true devotion, my Philothea, destroy anything at all. On the contrary, it perfects and fulfils all things. In fact if it ever works against, or is inimical to, anyone’s legitimate station and calling, then it is very definitely false devotion.

--from Introduction to the Devout Life by St. Francis de Sales (excerpted from the second reading from today's Office of Readings)

The person who possesses Christian meekness is affectionate and tender towards everyone: he is disposed to forgive and excuse the frailties of others; the goodness of his heart appears in a sweet affability that influences his words and actions, presents every object to his view in the most charitable and pleasing light.  

--St. Francis de Sales (quote from Franciscan Media's "Saint of the Day.")

Today is the feast of St. Francis de Sales, patron of this blog, and one of my favorite saints.  He's the patron of journalists.  

Usually during Lent I bring out my well-worn copy of Introduction to the Devout Life, and this year will be no different.  Today I'll be celebrating in style, as this day is also the baptism anniversary of our oldest.  She requested that I make chocolate fudge and peanut butter fudge (both adapted from my mom's recipe), so I did so yesterday.  Since  I didn't make these sweet treats over the Christmas season, we are really enjoying how good they taste.

New Year, New You: Be Mindful, Be Inspired

Here is my January column that appears in this weekend's edition of The Catholic Post.  I invite your feedback here or elsewhere online.

A new calendar year offers many a chance to start fresh with eating right or maybe a new exercise plan.  Bookstores shelves are full of how-to books this time of year to help kick-start that process.

That’s all well and good, but many times a shift in thinking is what’s really needed.  Two great new books offer just that.

Cravings: A Catholic Wrestles with Food, Self-Image and God  is Mary DeTurris Poust’s personal and spiritual journey about the intersection of food and faith.

“For Catholics, any conversation about the food-faith connection will always come back around to this one central theme. Ours is a faith centered on a meal,” Poust writes, and she shows in Cravings how it is vital to understand and internalize the link between our spiritual and physical well-being when it comes to food.

A big strength is that Poust’s book is both Catholic and catholic, tapping into a wide range of spiritual practices and traditions related to food and meals.  So much of our Catholic liturgical year relates to fasting and feasting, and seeing how other cultures and religious traditions share this is constructive and broadening.  Poust also shares stories of various people who have struggled with weight, food issues or spirituality related to food, and how they handle their struggles.

Cravings is more spiritual “how-to” than healthy-eating “how-to.”  Considering the many competing theories that seem to change by the week (is it paleo or vegan that’s best these days?), that seems healthy in more ways than one.

At the same time, Poust takes the time to make the case about how our modern American food promotes unhealthy lifestyles rather than healthy ones.  And her helpful appendix, “Practices for the Journey Forward,” summarizing healthy eating and lifestyle principles, is sensible and balanced without being too much.

Poust saved the best for last, in the final two chapters: “Soul Food: Turning Meals into Meditations,” and “Just Desserts: You Can Have Your Cake and Spiritual Life, Too.”  I’m not just saying that because I love dessert best of all.  Her own experiences of mindful eating, both alone and with her family, as well as her ideas for creating food rituals, are encouraging rather than daunting.

After reading Cravings, I feel motivated in many ways, and so grateful for our Catholic faith’s rhythms and rituals.  My take-away is to practice small times of mindful eating, and make more intentional and positive food rituals at our house.

Running With God Across America is decidedly not a “how-to” book about getting in shape, but many readers will find it inspiring and compelling.

Running is University of Notre Dame grad Jeff Grabosky’s account of his decision to embark, after a rough post-college time, on a cross-country run, praying for others’ intentions the entire way.

Each short chapter is titled by “day” (day 1, etc.) and covers one day of his  3,700-mile, months-long journey.  Most days he ran more than 30 miles, and he relates with openness his spiritual, physical and emotional state through many ups and downs.

“I set out on my journey to help bring our world closer to God,” writes Grabosky at the end of Running with God Across America, but it’s his own spiritual journey that takes center stage, with a endearing narrative and flow.

This book is hard to put down--I would resolve to set it aside for dishes or some other responsibility, but kept reading and telling myself, “just one more day.”

As a busy middle-aged mom (and runner), I found myself envious of two aspects of Grabosky’s trek, one serious and one kind of funny.

First, Grabosky had tons of time and personal space for prayer, while running, of course. That’s why the book reads like a retreat journal or spiritual memoir in many ways.  His spiritual highs and lows are recounted in vivid and emotional detail.

Second, food lovers will marvel as Grabosky relates the sheer amount of food he needed to eat to keep up his weight on this long run. I know how good food tastes after a long run or lots of exertion, and so his descriptions of memorable and delicious meals stuck with me.  Talk about mindful eating.

Most people aren’t going to embark upon a solo cross-country run, though some might want to join in Grabosky’s latest effort, as he organizes the LIFE Runner's cross-country Relay for Life that begins next month.

Still, most readers will glean from Running With God Across America spiritual fruit from his journey, and be inspired to consider their own spiritual and physical life more like the real journey that it is.  Just one more day ....

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Note:  I will be doing Q&As this month with both Mary DeTurris Poust and Jeff Grabosky.  My Q&A with Jeff will appear next week, and I'll be part of the blog tour for Mary's book; Reading Catholic's "stop" is scheduled for January 20.

Reading Catholic on the "Cravings" Blog Tour

Tomorrow, my column that appears in this weekend's edition of The Catholic Post will post here on the blog.

This year, for my traditional "new year, new you" column, I review one book about food and one book about running. --covering both those who resolve to eat healthier and those who resolve to get in shape.  Most of my resolutions this year have to do with organization, so I'm sure I will try to share books along those lines as well.

The exciting news is that one of my reviewed books, and I will be part of the blog tour for Mary DeTurris Poust's latest book, Cravings: A Catholic Wrestles with Food, Self-Image, and God.  I'm on the schedule for January 20th, which means I get to finish the blog tour.  Pretty exciting!  I'll be doing a Q&A with Mary on my date, and I look forward to reading all the other tour stops as well.

If you click on the link, (here it is again if the image doesn't work), you can see all the stops on Mary's blog tour, as well as enter to win a Williams-Sonoma gift card.

What are some of your New Year's resolutions?

2012 Book Survey and 2013 Reading Resolutions

Year's end is a great time to take stock of the past calendar year and make some new-year resolutions.

Faith at "Strewing"answered a series of book-related questions about the books she read this year, and that inspired me to come up with a quick list of questions related to books and invite you to share your favorites, too.

I want to clarify that I do always recommend all of the books that I review, and you can find them all in the book review tab up at the top of the blog.  (Note:  I need to add the last few months, but I promise to do so as a year's end housekeeping).

So here is my 2012 Book Survey and Reading Resolutions for 2013.  Please share your answers on your own blog, or here in the comments if you are so inclined. Happy reading!

What was the most important/best book that you read this year?

I've got two here, and I reviewed them both in my July column: Adam and Eve After the Pill: Paradoxes of the Sexual Revolution by Mary Eberstadt and My Peace I Give You: Healing Sexual Wounds with the Help of the Saints by Dawn Eden.  Must reads.

What book was most spiritually fruitful for you this year?

God Will Provide by Patricia Treece is a tremendous book.

What was the most enjoyable read this year?

Two memoirs come to mind.  Amy Welborn's Wish You Were Here and Colleen Carroll Campbell's My Sisters the Saints were both great reads.

Actually, I really enjoyed and found lots to ponder from all the memoirs I read this year, from Alberto Salazar's 14 Minutes to Chris Haw's From Willow Creek to Sacred Heart.  

What was the favorite book you read (or re-read) this year?

Re-reading (and reading out loud to my children) Tolkien's The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings Trilogy has been a highlight.

What are your reading resolutions for the new year?

I have three:

Get more organized.  First, just in the last few weeks, I've started a list for review books that I add to each time books come in with the title, author and publisher.  If I get a chance to glance through it or even read it, I give it a grade and a couple of notes about the book.

I also hope to get up to speed on GoodReads or one of the other websites to help organize reading with everything I am reading, including with the kids, and books I want to share with my husband.  For many months, I kept a book log on my phone of all the books I read--usually a dozen or more a month, yay me!-- but I've gotten out of that habit and I need to do so again.  I find it so satisfying to look back at the list of all that I have read.

Get more opinions.  I really enjoy getting to host other bloggers or other people reviewing books, and I want to make that a bigger part of Reading Catholic next year.  I really hope to tap into the local Catholic community for this, and have more voices chime in on all the great books out there.

Share more in real life.  I am determined to start an in-real-life book group again, and this one will not be about Catholic books--there, I said it!  I am definitely up for the fun I had several years back with a now-defunct Jane Austen book group.  I need that kind of talk and enjoyment with fellow readers.

What about you?  What are your favorite reads from 2012, and are you making any reading resolutions for 2013?

Meet a Reader: Amy Dyke

This month on "Meet a Reader" I'm happy to feature someone I've known for many years.  Amy Dyke has a new role as the NFP Coordinator for the Diocese of Peoria.  Thanks, Amy, for being willing to share your love of books with Reading Catholic!

How you know me:  I am happily married to Craig Dyke, the proud mother of five daughters and have recently begun working as the NFP Coordinator for the Diocese of Peoria.  I happen to also be one of five girls and am originally from the Black Hills of South Dakota.  We have settled here in Peoria, quite content to be rooted in the heart of the Midwest.  St. Jude is our home parish, where we are blessed with an incredibly warm, faithful and loving community.

Why I love reading:  My spiritual director told me years ago, "the minute one stops moving forward in their spiritual journey, they're actually moving backward."  I find this to be especially true in regards to literature and spiritual reading.  I love to immerse myself in books that challenge my heart and mind, and bring me to a greater love, knowledge and understanding of Christ.  I also love reading because it's a great way for me to grow closer and connect with my husband.  In addition to books we read on our own, we love to cozy up and read to each other before going to bed.  It's a standing joke between us of who can be more animated so the other doesn't doze off to sleep.

What I'm reading now:  Saint Gianna Molla:  Wife, Mother, Doctor by Peitro Molla.  St. Gianna shines brightly for the women/wives/mothers of our day in a powerful way.  Written by Gianna's very own husband, Pietro describes Gianna's many virtues, in particular he mentions her prudence, how Gianna truly wanted to do only what the Lord wanted from her, and she did it whole-heartedly.  Gianna's simple witness speaks volumes, especially in today's fast-paced, self-centered culture.

Her devotion to God first, followed by a devoted relationship with her husband and children, allowed her to live her life in a way that was selfless, sensitive, complete.  St. Gianna wrote that "our task is to live holy the present moment," which was abundantly evident in her interior life, her family life, in her public role as a doctor.  In a culture where our children are desperately needing parents to be 'present'  (and vice-versa!), we see that the mission of the family has perhaps gotten side-tracked with an unhealthy fascination of instead being 'present' on social network sites, etc.

Technology is literally in the palm of many of our hands, and begs the question: could these fun and exciting novelties be causing families to be distracted from our mission, and lose sight of the amazing privilege and gift of authentic love to be lived out more fully within our home, within our vocation?  St. Gianna says, "our earthly and eternal happiness depends on following our vocation very carefully."  Such simplicity.  Incredibly revealing to spouses/parents in our sincere pursuit of a happy family, showing that we must take heed to nurture and protect the precious relationships within our family, under our very roofs, at all costs- recognizing that each day is a gift from God to grow closer to Him and closer to the family with which He has blessed us.

I'm also reading George Weigel's The Cube and the Cathedral.  Craig and I recently polished off Weigel's fascinating look at the de-Christianization of Europe and the role that secularism and government have played in seeking to wipe out their deep-rooted Christian heritage.  Weigel points out that the state of Europe should give the attentive reader pause, as we Americans can see the seeds of secularism boldly taking root in the United States today.  Drawing on Blessed John Paul II's rich understanding of God's rightful place within society, Weigel shows the stark difference of the people of the "cube" and the people of the "cathedral," and that in the end, atheistic humanism places society on a path to destruction, whereas authentic human enlightenment comes from God's illuminating presence in the world.  Written in 2005, we found Weigel's book and insights to be incredibly prophetic, especially in light of the government's recent HHS healthcare mandate being forced upon Catholic institutions throughout the U.S.  

Pope Benedict XVI: The Infancy Narratives:  Jesus of Nazareth.  We just received our Holy Father's newest book, and are excited to keep each other awake (!) and prepare well as a couple to enter into Advent more fully.  We appreciate the pointedness and direct style that our Holy Father uses in his writing, constantly seeking to bring Jesus more alive to those that are sincerely longing for truth, for Christ.

My favorite books:

G.K. Chesterton:  Orthodoxy.
Karol Wojtyla (JPII): Love and Responsibility.
St. Teresa of Avila:  Interior Castle.
St. John of the Cross:  Dark Night of the Soul.
Thomas a Kempis:  The Imitation of Christ.
Fulton Sheen: Life of Christ and Three to Get Married.
St. Francis de Sales:  Introduction to the Devout Life.
Louisa May Alcott: Little Women.

Memoirs Help Give "A Reason for Hope"

Here is my December column that appears in this weekend’s print The Catholic Post.  I invite your feedback here, or on Facebook or Twitter.

Pop quiz:  why are you Catholic?

Could you tell your story in a way that makes your friend want to be Catholic, or your children glad that they are Catholic?

It’s harder than it appears at first thought, isn’t it?

And yet as St. Peter tells us, we should “always be ready to give an explanation to anyone who asks you for a reason for your hope.”  Personal stories, more than statistics or arguments, are one of the best ways to transmit faith, whether ourselves or those closest to us.

You might be strong in your Catholic faith, or looking for a booster shot for a faith grown anemic.  Or you might be looking for a gift for someone wavering in his or her faith.  Consider one of the compelling and enjoyable newer memoirs, where others share what gives them hope.

 Here are two very different choices among recent offerings:

*My Sisters the Saints: A Spiritual Memoir by Colleen Carroll Campbell recounts Campbell’s spiritual journey from nominal Catholic college student through young adulthood as she struggles with faith, work, dating, a parent’s decline, and infertility.

What keeps her moving closer to, instead of away from, her Catholic faith, are a series of women saints whose lives point the way for her to experience life fully--and fully Catholic.

Many know Campbell as a gifted author--she wrote the 2002 book The New Faithful: Why Young Adults are Embracing Christian Orthodoxy.  I enjoyed that book, and found it well-done, but My Sisters the Saints is far richer and more compelling, because it is Campbell’s own story, shared honesty and sensitively.

I confess that I shed a few cathartic tears at Campbell’s own story, since I’ve been through similar struggles.  Her account of losing a parent over time, in particular, is handled with grace and candor.  Campbell writes warmly and well, and her book should be widely read.

*A very, very different memoir, but equally compelling, is Chris Haw’s From Willow Creek to Sacred Heart: Rekindling My Love for Catholicism.

I have much more in common with Campbell, as I’m a cradle Catholic who never left the Church.  Chris Haw, while raised Catholic through young childhood, began his faith life as an “non-denominational” Christian, basically anti-Catholic, at the mega-church Willow Creek in the Chicago area.  But Haw’s book is hard to put down.

Learning of worship and faith life in mega-churches is interesting.  And yet, it is Haw’s journey from evangelical and anti-liturgical/anti-denominational zealot to--of all things--a faithful, liturgical Catholic that makes this book fascinating.

For a non-theologian like me, some of the middle chapters of From Willow Creek to Sacred Heart are a little too theology-rich (or theology-laden, depending on your tolerance for straight theology).  I wish there had been a bit extra “personal story” in those middle chapters. The story of how Haw and his young family live their faith radically in a poverty-stricken area of Camden, New Jersey, is remarkable, and I wish there were more about how they live it out, day to day.

Still, I read each chapter with interest and attention.  Haw’s voice challenges one to “think different” about the meaning of Catholicism.  His perspective is radically unique, like a kind of Dorothy Day for the millennial generation (and even those of us just  a bit older than that).  Most of us are not called to live or worship the way Haw does, but reading about it prompts questions and challenges about how we do live out our Catholic faith.

Book Traditions for Advent and Christmas

I'm excited to share that I've been invited to be part of the Advent series hosted by Bonnie at A Knotted Life.   Kicking off the series this Sunday will be Lisa Hendey.  I truly look forward to following along with it, and of course I'm delighted to be included among the bloggers writing guest posts.  I will be writing for the feast of St. Nicholas.

As a little sneak preview, I am writing about--surprise, surprise--books for Advent and Christmastime.

But I wanted to share here in a more general way how I have used books during Advent, as well as offer some resources and suggestions.  After I wrote in part of my November column for The Catholic Post about some newer books to help keep Advent well, I realize that literature (and for kids in particular, picture books)  can be just as good as devotional works, to get in the spirit of the Advent and Christmas seasons.

Here are some of the nuts & bolts of how we use literature during Advent at our house.

I keep a basket of Advent- and Christmas-themed books tucked away in a closet.   I’ve kept this basket for years, and added to it over time via book sales, library cast-offs and Barnes & Noble “after Christmas” (though during Christmas season) sales. There are perhaps a dozen books that we truly treasure, but the rest are seasonal enough to hold interest and keep us reading.  There are about 50 books in our Advent/Christmas book basket, and I usually also order a lot of other books from the library, either new ones, or old classics we don't own.   So there is plenty to read this time of year.

I began the Advent/Christmas basket of books when my oldest (now 15!) was a toddler.  I learned about the tradition from Catholic moms on various e-groups (in the Wild West, before we got all our great ideas from blogs, Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest).

At that time, some moms shared on the e-groups about how they wrapped (sometimes in liturgically correct purple or pink) each one of the books well ahead of Advent, and then unwrapped one each day of Advent and Christmastime.  

That idea makes me tired just thinking about it, so needless to say that has never happened here.   I used to have some guilt, like I wasn’t quite “mom” enough to pick out and wrap dozens of books.  Now that I’m a little wiser, I leave that behind.

In reality, I feel accomplished simply that I am able to keep those books tucked away all year and bring out the basket at the beginning of Advent.

I won't list all the books in our family's basket (though I will share one special book on Bonnie's blog next week, and a few others later in Advent here).  For one, I think there are fewer than a dozen that we cherish.  Mostly, though, it's because so many moms over the years have made some great lists that I don't need to re-invent the wheel.

Here are just a few sources if you are interested in starting this tradition at your house:

*Elizabeth Foss, whose endless energy and generosity has enriched her own family and shared freely with other families great book suggestions and themes, takes special care with Advent.

*Mary Ellen Barrett has a blog devoted to keeping Advent at O Night Divine.  Here are some of her many, many book suggestions.

*Jessica at Shower of Roses has a nicely curated list of Advent books (and trust me, I hold nothing but admiration for her for actually wrapping the books, God bless her).

*for those who would like a book rather than a web resource, Cay Gibson’s amazing Christmas Mosaic  has a list of dozens of books, crafts, recipes and other ideas for making Advent and Christmastime special for families.

Picture books and Christmas-themed literature are unique and wonderful to move and inspire us during this season of preparation, and then as we celebrate Christmas.

Do you have an Advent and Christmastime book tradition?

LIFE Runners Marathon, Part 2: Race So As to ... Finish

You can read Part 1 of my marathon story, "High Five!" here.

St. Paul says in 1 Corinthians (9:24) that all runners in a race run, but only one receives the prize, and we should run for the prize.

In running a marathon or a half-marathon, all finishers receive a medal, so perhaps the prize becomes “to finish.”  In fact, each person running a race will have a unique goal or "prize."

For instance, a few of the LIFE Runners racing in St. Louis had ambitious goals, such as qualifying for the Boston Marathon. This is very difficult: you can see the time cut-offs for this year

When I had the chance to visit with some of my fellow runners at the pre-race banquet, I found a multitude of goals: having fun, going for a specific time; running "not just for myself" (a LIFE Runner from Massachusetts told me this goal); finishing my first half-marathon; finishing my first marathon; being a witness to life.

I think all the LIFE Runners were excited to be there as part of the largest charity group running the St. Louis marathon and half.  I know I was; this was my first time being part of a charity group for a run (I'm normally in the category of "run for myself"!), and it was terrific.

My personal overall goal (in addition to my LIFE Runners participation) for the marathon was not a time goal, but rather a positive experience.

The marathon I ran last year was difficult.  I loved the course; it was a trail marathon, not at all technical and very beautiful; and the race series was well-organized and small.  On purpose, I chose my first marathon with a super-long time limit, to ensure that I would finish (there was also a 50-mile race at the same time, so I had 12 hours to finish!)   But I struggled mightily the last nine miles, and that’s a long time to be struggling.

I was determined to have a more positive experience this time, and improve my time if I could.  I could write many paragraphs about this, but suffice to say that I trained much more this year, and tried to be careful about everything from nutrition to strength training.  As in the past, I’ve used a book called Marathoning for Mortals by John Bingham and Jenny Hatfield, but I was much more “by the book” this time, especially for my taper--the last several weeks of reduced mileage and training before the actual race.

But I also tried to do “more. “  For instance, last year I did only one 20-mile long run in training, and this year I ran that distance twice (the second time was actually 21 miles, as I had misjudged mileage that day).

Even with all my training, my times this year were a lot slower for pretty much every run, whether long or short, from the same time last year.  So before the marathon I was pretty sure a better time might not be achievable.  So the "better experience" was top of the list.

Race day was beautiful--nice and cool to start.  I walked over from our hotel, about a mile away from the start, with several runners who had run many Rock'n'Roll events, so I got a lot of good stories from them and encouragement for doing the full marathon.

After a bit of looking around, I found the LIFE Runners group for the pre-race prayer service.  LIFE Runner leader Rob Rysavy gave a reflection concluding with “No one runs alone today... You are all LIFE Runners.”   He encouraged us to pray for life and those affected by abortion while we ran.  I wish I had taken better notes, but the pre-race jitters were beginning to build.

Then we all prayed the LIFE Runners Creed.  It was very powerful to pray it out loud with such a large group.  If it's hard to read it in this photo, read it on the LIFE Runners website.  It's a powerful prayer, one I'm convinced was inspired by the Holy Spirit.

Then I got a photo with a new friend, fellow LIFE Runner, Amy G, (who incidentally went on to run a very strong half-marathon).  At the banquet the night before, I kept thinking, "I know her!"  So after the program, I went up to introduce myself.  It turns out she and her (now) husband went to Bradley University in central IL  She had also babysat for some local families that I know a little, so we may have encountered each other during her Peoria days.

At the race start, there was a nice sunrise behind the Arch.

Both half and full marathon runners started at the same time, but in “waves,” (several hundred runners starting a minute apart) so I had plenty of time to wait and visit with many other runners.  I loved this couple (who were actually married 2 weeks before, and were running the half together that day):

The race officially started at 7 a.m., but they delayed the start to 7:05, and since I was in a later corral for my "wave" I didn’t start running until about 7:30.

True confession:  in the days before the race,  I had a moment or two of nervousness about wearing the LIFE Runners t-shirt; what if there might be abortion supporters who would say or do mean things as I ran?  I didn't seriously think something violent would happen, but also didn’t relish the idea of having to argue with people.  In reality, and on race day, I had nothing but positive feedback from fellow runners, especially the many LIFE Runners that I encountered along the run, but so many others.

Once I started running, however, I had a growing concern about any post-abortion women who somehow felt judged by the t-shirt saying “Remember the Unborn” on the back.  Part of me thought as I ran, that I should have tacked on a note with “Healing After Abortion” and a web address to Project Rachel.

There were several women LIFE Runners I met Saturday night who have had abortions (and who wore their t-shirts in the race Sunday morning), and I wish I would have thought ahead to talk to them about it, and find out their thoughts.   As it was, I made a special effort to pray for any women (or men) running who had been involved with abortion in any way, and for healing for them.

The half-marathon portion of the race was great--there were more than 11,000 runners in that part, so I was always surrounded by people, and here and there a few LIFE Runners, and some other people who wanted to chat.  A Rock’n’Roll race has bands about every mile or two, and most were really great and helped you pick up the pace.  There were plenty of water, gatorade, and porta-potty stops.  All fantastic.  The course had more hills than I realized ahead of time, and I hate hills.  But the beauty of the course helped to make up for it.  Here we ran past the Missouri Botanical Garden.

Then I got the part where the half-marathoners went to their finish, and a smaller group continued on with the marathon.

I don't know if you can see in this "fork in the road" photo, but the black sign says, "half stay straight" and the green sign says, "marathon turn left."  You might be able to see that there are a lot more people on the right than the left.

This is where things got to feel a little lonesome.  There were about 11,000 runners who did the half, and only about 1,700 who did the full marathon.  There were still bands every mile or so, and even a “mile of music” with speakers blaring along the route towards Forest Park, but there were very few people around me.  As I passed a few of the bands, especially a really great one at about mile 23, I felt guilty being one of only two or three people passing by!  It was like a little private concert, and that felt strange.

Because I was in the back of the marathon pack, and the course overlapped, I had a chance to pass by (going the opposite direction) some of the faster marathoners in while they were around miles 20-24, and I was around mile 14-17.  That was fun, and I got a photo and high-fives (really) from fellow LIFE Runners.

Here is Bishop Paprocki (in the middle of this photo).  He finished in 4:22.  Amazing!

Before this, I had passed Pat Castle and Jeff Pauls (one of the LIFE Runners who qualified for Boston at this race), but didn't get a photo.  It was great to see fellow LIFE Runners, but also a little daunting realizing how far I would have to go yet, and how much faster they were than me.  But I needed to keep in mind my goal.  I'm not going for a BQ (Boston qualifying finish); I'm going for a good experience.

Another LIFE Runner, probably an hour or more ahead of me, and looking great!

As I described above, during my first marathon, the final nine miles or so were difficult, both mentally and physically.  I kept saying to myself, “I still have nine more miles to go!” and then eight, and so on.  It was brutal.

This year, I was determined to think more positively.  With advice in advance from fellow runners, I repeated the following phrases to myself:  “trust your training,” “you only have single digits to go”  and “this is like a short training run” (which 9 miles, or anything shorter, is for a marathon).  Strangely, I did not tell myself “high five!” but I’m sure that would have worked as well.

The result?  It helped so much.  Even though this course was harder than last year’s marathon, and I was probably just as physically drained, the mental focus helped me feel better.

Now, here, as promised, is the part of the marathon story that relates directly to books, to prove definitively that books and authors are super important to me.

As I approached the finish, there was a man I had seen the day before at the expo.  At the expo, there was  a small stage at the end of the vendor section where Olympians and others would share encouraging words and talk about racing to pump up runners.

Our family got to hear the end of a talk by Olympian Frank Shorter, and I thought the person holding the microphone for him and kind of "emceeing" looked like John Bingham, co-author of Marathoning for Mortals, the training book I used.  I asked the man seated next to me if it were him, and he said,“No, Bingham spoke earlier.”  Now at this point all the members of our family (including me!) were super hungry, so I didn’t stick around to verify that, in fact, it wasn't Bingham.  (Note to self for future big-city races: enjoy the expo and check out the speakers in advance).

But here was this man again about 100 yards before the finish. Keep in mind, there are only a few people running around the same time as me, so it's not like I was holding up the race, I asked, “Are you John Bingham?” and of course he was!

So I had to stop then and there and get a photo.  Fortunately, my family was nearby, and my nine-year-old snapped some photos of us.  I was so excited to get to meet Bingham, and so I visited with him for a couple of minutes.  (Clearly, I was not interested in my time).  I was delighted to tell him how much his book helped me train for numerous half-marathons and for both marathons.  I told him how encouraging the book is to new and slower runners, and how inspiring and practical his book is.

Then I happily ran across the finish line.  Here I am with the family just after the race.

They had been keeping busy having breakfast,  going to the Arch and walking around downtown during my six-plus hours (!) of running.

I feel the need to report here that my husband Joseph is much cuter and far more photogenic than this photo attests, but perhaps it was his morning corralling kids in a big city. ;-)  Again, high five! to Joseph and our kids for all their support and love this weekend.

My husband said later that it looks like I strolled a mile rather than ran 26.2, since I looked so fresh and happy.  That was sweet!  But I have to say that my smiles were all about relief, because I did work very hard. I was so happy to have finished and not to be running any more.

There is also something very cathartic about long-distance running that shows in the faces of those who finish, and I’ll write more about that next.

LIFE Runners Marathon, Part 1: High Five!

This post is unofficially subtitled, if you don’t like photos in a post, you might just want to come back in a few days, after I share over the next few days some of the many experiences running my second marathon earlier this month, and my first time as part of the LIFE Runners team.   This has taken me much longer to post than I expected, but I think readers and friends will enjoy hearing about my experience.

You may be thinking this is a little far afield from books, my primary focus here.   And I do promise that some of this relates to books--promise!  And I will do a round-up of great pro-life and running books that I’ve reviewed in past years, as well as have a Q&A with a fellow LIFE Runner who authored a book recently about his cross-country run.

But for now, it’s all about the marathon and LIFE Runners; definitely on-topic as far as I’m concerned.

I have been training for since early in the summer, and only several weeks ago discovered the group LIFE Runners and that the group was doing their annual race weekend in St. Louis, just a few hours away.  I wrote about changing my plans here, and so I signed up for the LIFE Runners team as well as the St. Louis Rock’n’Roll Marathon.

LIFE Runners was founded in 2008 by two Air Force Lieutenant Colonels--Rich Reich and Pat Castle, to “pray, raise funds, and run...All In Christ for Pro-Life!”  The group has a goal for a major race or race series each year, and have been running them since 13 LIFE Runners ran the 2008 Chicago Marathon.  The group has grown to the 252 who ran in the St. Louis Race series, the largest charity group (by far) there.   Runners agree to raise funds for one of several local charities, and run wearing a LIFE Runners t-shirt while running the race. Impressive!

I confess I was a wee bit intimidated by all the military active duty or veterans, since I’m  not ... military... but the LIFE Runners is very diverse, and everyone was very welcoming, and I was glad for high level of organization and great experience of pro-life solidarity that they created.

The expression “High Five!”  comes from Pat Castle (one of those Lt Cols) , the president of the group, and he is super-motivating, to say the least.  High-fives abound, whether on the LIFE Runners website, the Facebook page, or in person from Pat.

Now, I’m going to use the expression “high five” in this post a lot, and I want to make perfectly clear that I am in no way making fun of “high five.”  I think I did first smile when I heard and saw all the “high fives,” but I quickly realized the genius of it; how it brings us together and encourages in a genuine way.  I feel confident that the other LIFE Runners are smiling along with me and nodding.  It’s just a great expression in so many ways, and captures Pat’s personality and LIFE Runners in general.

We made this a family trip, and I have to high five! my husband and kids for being good sports about various issues with the weekend.

We arrived very late Friday night, so Saturday morning was dedicated to a little sleeping in as well as going to the health and fitness expo to pick up my race bib as well as check things out.  Now, one of the things about big race expos, as many articles  and books will tell you, is that you tend to overspend and buy weird things you would never normally buy, like crazy running tights or hats with strange messages on them.

I kept saying to Joseph and the kid, but it didn’t seem to have much effect on them or me, because we ended up buying a few things, but fortunately none of them were particularly crazy.

The free samples were a big hit.  Unfortunately, we kept finding our 9-year-old at this free sample booth, looking with puppy dog eyes at the young women handing out samples. He was not successful (high five! sample ladies), I’m happy to report, but I couldn’t resist a photo and a laugh, as well as endure our teenager saying, “Don’t encourage him!”

There was just a little time to grab a quick late lunch and head over to the Cathedral Basilica for the LIFE Runners gathering before the 5 p.m. Sunday Vigil Mass.

While I’d been in Facebook contact with the LIFE Runners team, I had never met anyone in person or knew any of them, so I’ll confess to being nervous.  But the group was welcoming, and I had no trouble making friends.

We started with a group photo.  According to the LIFE Runners website, there were 252 LIFE Runners in St. Louis, making it by far the largest charity group running the races.  A large contingent was there for the pre-Mass photo:

Then Pat Castle gathered us for some high fives (really!) and talks.  First was a blessing by Bishop Paprocki of Springfield.  Pat Castle is here introducing Bishop Paprocki:

.

Next we had a talk by a priest from Steubenville, who it turns out was a fellow marathoner.

Finally, Karla shared her experience of having an abortion at age 15 and healing after many decades, and shared how important it is to be a witness to life.  This is at close range becuase the cathedral’s bells started to go off during her talk, so Pat Castle brought us all in close to Karla, which made it that much more intimate an experience, and beautiful and healing for all of us.

Mass was next in the beautiful Basilica, and another large group there for Mass was a Society of St. Francis de Sales, who happens to be the patron saint of journalists.  I thought that was neat coincidence for me.

Here's one of the many beautiful mosaics inside the Cathedral Basilica.

After Mass, we went over to a gathering space next to the cathedral for a pasta dinner served by the Knights of Columbus.  As we waited in line for buffet, diners could pass by booth set up by various groups, in particular the three charity beneficiaries of this year’s LIFE Runners races.  Our kids enjoyed getting to chat with the staffers at the Thrive booth.  Thrive is one of the beneficiary charities for the LIFE Runners this year.

What I loved was getting to meet the brewers from Two Lawyers and a Priest Brewing, who brewed a special beef for LIFE Runners. High five, Catholics who brew beer for pro-life!  They were giving away bottles in a kind of silent-auction method, and I’m happy to say that I did get a bottle, though I’ve not yet had the chance to enjoy it.  I’m going to split it with my husband.

So much was memorable about the dinner and program.  Jennifer Brinker writes about the LIFE Runners and the weekend more at the St. Louis Review.

Bishop Paprocki, one of the LIFE Runners (and a seasoned marathoner) received the first LIFE Runner of the Year award.  His remarks were amazing--he spoke about the Communion of Saints and how he feels more connected to them during distance running.  In particular, he told a moving story of how he lost his father between the time Bishop Paprocki qualified for the Boston Marathon and ran the Boston Marathon, and how he felt the presence of his father during Boston.

I think it is difficult for me to convey how good his short remarks were; I’m not sure if it sounds trite; he is an excellent preacher and captured this beautifully. I have definitely felt that "communion of saints" feeling, when I ran a half-marathon less than a year after my father passed away.  There really is something unique about distance running, not just in a physical way, but in a spiritual way.  I’ll write more about that tomorrow and the next day.

That’s it for Part 1 of my LIFE Runners marathon experience--high five to me for finishing it before the end of 2012!  More tomorrow.