Are You Ready for Advent?

Truth be told, I’m not. I usually dig out the Advent wreath well after Thanksgiving and the start of Advent, and we don’t light it every day.  I confess we’ve been uneven in our use of a Jesse tree.

Does it count that for the last few years, I have gotten the kids a Trader Joe’s chocolate calendar and they open a door every day of December?

I thought not.  

I know Advent is a great time of preparation, so I’m hoping for better success this year.

Here are some new books in case you, too, might need some fresh ideas to make Advent a time of joyful preparation:

*Father Gary Caster, a priest of the diocese of Peoria, has a new St. Therese-inspired book out:   The Little Way of Advent: Meditations in the Spirit of St. Therese of Lisieux.

Father Caster’s latest book, like his previous title The Little Way of Lent, provides for each day (in this case, of Advent) a Scripture passage, a reflection and a little quote from St. Therese.  For those who love Father Caster’s preaching style and his prolific writing, The Little Way of Advent does not disappoint.

(Go here to read my Q&A with Father around the time that I reviewed The Little Way of Lent).

*A Catholic Family Advent: Prayers and Activities by Susan Hines-Brigger offers family-centric activities, reflections and Scripture for each day of Advent.  I especially liked the “talk together” portion to spark conversation, perhaps around the dinner table, before lighting the aforementioned Advent wreath.

*Lisa Hendey has a slim new volume O Radiant Dawn: 5-Minute Prayers Around the Advent Wreath, with short, very do-able reflections for most, and also some for younger children, for each day of the Advent season.

*Advent and Christmas Wisdom from St. Vincent de Paul by John E. Rybolt, provides short reflections and quotes from the writings of St. Vincent de Paul, particularly focusing on the saint's reputation as "the Apostle of Charity."

The above appeared in this weekend's edition of The Catholic Post on the book page.  Even as I wrote it, I began to realize that our family does "do" Advent a wee bit better than just the Trader Joe's chocolate calendar.  And does it not surprise you that the way we excel at keeping Advent and Christmastime is through books?

So in addition to trying to make some of these new books part of my Advent tradition, I also plan to take a look (as we get closer to Advent) at some of our favorite classic Advent/Christmas books--including many picture books--that might help you keep Advent well, too.  Watch for a special series of posts as Advent draws closer.

First, What Are You Reading? Volume 27, The All Saints/Marathon Edition

Happy Feast of All Saints!   Be sure to celebrate in style this great feast of the Church.

I'm interrupting my marathon story (here are Part 1 and Part 2) to post my monthly "what are you reading?" questions, with a focus on a book about someone who probably is a saint, as well as one book about running by a prayerful young man.

The questions, as always, are:

first, what are you reading?
what do you like best about it?
what do you like least?
what's next on your list to read?


As always, I hope you'll consider your current reads on your blog and/or sharing here in the comments or on Facebook or Twitter.  Happy reading!


First, what are you reading?

I actually read Jeff Grabosky's book Running With God Across America back in the summer, but I want to feature it now, because Jeff is a fellow LIFE Runner.  I also plan to do a Q&A with him in the future since he's agreed to do one.

I'm also in the midst of Leonie Martin:  A Difficult Life by  Marie Baudouin-Croix.

What do you like best about them?

I most enjoy Jeff Grabosky's voice and honesty in talking about his spiritual journey in Running With God Across America. 

Leonie Martin: A Difficult Life is quite moving.  I had read before in an article about Leonie that some believe that she, almost more than Therese, deserves formal recognition as a saint.  I'm not sure about that, but reading about her mental health issues and how she worked to overcome them and persist in seeking to fulfill her vocation has brought me to tears on several occasions.

What do you like least?

I am surprised at how much I enjoyed all of Running With God Across America.  I receive a lot of review copies of self-published books, and the vast majority have major issues, whether style, content or grammar/typo issues.  Jeff's book, while self-published, genuinely reads like a memoir from any major publisher.  I'm not sure if he had a great helpful editors or friends read through it, or just has a gift, or both.  He's a great writer and the story flows.

Leonie Martin was written in the French, and sometimes the translation  feels a little awkward.  It's easy to overcome, and certainly worthwhile to know more about this member of the Martin family.

What's next on your list to read?

I have a huge stack of books that are possibilities for my December column featuring good gift books.  So many great choices, but I'm on the lookout for more.  If you know of any great newer books that would also make great Christmas presents, please comment here or send me a tweet.

Worth a Listen: Demand Your Dignity

Normally, I share here great songs that are inspiring, uplifting and/or are otherwise "worth a listen."  Today, it's this video.  Awesome! 

Take two minutes to watch this, and then share it with a young person you know. 

First, What Are You Reading? Volume 26, The Little Flower Edition

Here are my "Little Flower" answers to the four questions I ask on the first of each month:
first, what are you reading?
what do you like best about it?
what do you like least?
what's next on your list to read?

As always, I hope you'll consider your current reads on your blog and/or sharing here in the comments or on Facebook.  Happy reading!

First, what are you reading?

Well, if you haven't figured out why this is called the "Little Flower" edition, it is because today is the feast of the Little Flower, St. Therese of Lisieux.  We love to celebrate this feast at our house, and soon I'll be making rose-shaped scones in this pan for the scones lovers in our house, as I do every year on this feast.

I've actually been reading a ton, but unfortunately cannot seem to get my thoughts out about these many, many books.  So for now, to get my writing juices flowing, I am going to write about previously read books about or by St. Therese that would be really worthwhile to consider on this feast.

What do you like best about them?

There are two books for younger readers that feature St. Therese not so much as a character but as inspiration.  Olivia and the Little Way by Nancy Carabio Belanger chronicles Olivia’s fifth grade year and her ups & downs, as she discovers the spirituality of the Little Flower.  Just a wonderful book.  Nancy wrote a sequel to it called Olivia's Gift, which has a subtle pro-life and modesty theme that is excellent for older girls, and that we also loved at our house.

When Olivia's Gift was first published, I got the chance to interview Nancy Carabio Belanger, and you can read that Q&A here.  Here is the link to the publisher of these great books.


As far as books about St. Therese and her family, there are many. A lovely, small picture book biography for younger readers is St. Therese of Lisieux and the Little Way of Love by Marie Baudouin-Croix, translated from the French and published by the Daughters of St. Paul.   It should be readily available at most Daughters of St. Paul stores.  When I was searching for a link to this, I see that this author has a biography of Therese's sister Leonie called Leonie Martin: A Difficult Life.  Leonie was the most troubled of all the sisters, and this book explores her psychological issues and how she overcame them.   That looks fascinating and I plan to try to track that one down to read it.

We have a volume on our shelf, The Little Flower: The Story of Saint Therese of the Child Jesus by popular mid-20th century Catholic author Mary Fabyan Windeatt, but I confess none of us have read that one.  I'd love to know if it is worthwhile.


What do you like least?

When I first read Story of a Soul, I did find it somewhat cloying.  As the Universalis  reflection for St. Therese today says, "The late 19th century was a highly sentimental period, and much of the literature about Thérèse has taken that quality and made it sweeter and sicklier still, to the point where you feel like brushing your teeth after reading every page."

But the older I get, the more I find her words much more inspiring.  It's hard to explain, but those who love The Little Flower will understand.  Just a little bit from today's Office of Readings, which is a selection of Story of a Soul: "Certainly I have found my place in the Church, and you gave me that very place, my God. In the heart of the Church, my mother, I will be love."

I have a friend who loves and gave to me as a gift, I Believe in Love: A Personal Retreat Based on the Teaching of St. Thérèse of Lisieux by Charles Arminjon.  I understand it is great, but must confess I have never finished it, though I have started it several times.  Maybe this month would be a good time to finish it.

What's next on your list to read?

Really, the question here becomes, what are some recently read books to write about or neglect to write about?  Just for a very few, I've read the much-hyped novel The Age of Miracles by Karen Thompson Walker (meh); Cleaning House: A Mom’s 12-Month Experiment to Rid Her Home of Youth Entitlement by Kay Wills Wyma (really good ideas and reflection from this book); The Year of Learning Dangerously: Adventures in Homeschooling by Quinn Cummings (so hilarious and wonderful); Wealth Watchers by Alice Wood (interesting concept about applying Weight Watchers concepts to financial health) and so many more.  Maybe I will write about them soon, maybe not, but there is always reading going on here.

What are you reading this month? Do you have a favorite St. Therese book?  Share away!

The Quotable, Venerable Fulton Sheen: On Procrastination

God has promised men pardon if they are penitent, but not if they procrastinate.

Fulton Sheen, Peace of Soul.

There are so many great quotes from Fulton Sheen that I am posting a selection here and there this month.   You can read some of the prior quotes here  and here , or you can search the "Fulton Sheen" label and all the quotes will come up.

I have some of my own quotes, but the wonderful and sadly out of print The Quotable Fulton Sheen (I reviewed it in my September column here) has a lot of great ones to share, as well.

Local Effort Seeks One Million to Pray the Rosary

The Mass of Thanksgiving for Archbishop Sheen was truly amazing, and I'm putting together several posts about the Mass itself, replete with photos and some fun stories.  I had hoped to have this up today, but there are too many great photos and stories right now, and I need to pare it down.

Today I'm digressing for a great cause.  

I want to share an ambitious new effort spearheaded by a small local group that has a mighty goal:  getting one million people to say the Rosary on  Sunday, October 7.

Coincidentally (providentially?), it was the inspiration of a longtime friend, Michelle Rebello, who is also a member of the women's Sheen book group featured here on the blog last week.

Here's the message from Michelle: 

We are asking you to join one million of your fellow Catholics in saying the Rosary for our country on Sunday, October 7, 2012 at 3 pm EST. (You can say it wherever you are, or can go to St. Vincent dePaul church in Peoria to pray it at 2:00pm right before the Life Chain.) We are praying for our country to return to God and His laws. 

Visit rosaryvictory.com to pledge your support and be counted. Please help spread the word through email, facebook, twitter, etc (you can  go to those at facebook.rosaryvictory.com and twitter.rosaryvictory.com) to help us reach our goal of one million people! 

Bishop Jenky has asked for people to consecrate themselves to Jesus through Mary on that day; it would be a great way to honor Our Lady and help our country to say the rosary all together on that day. 

Thank you for all of your help in spreading the word and in praying the rosary on Oct. 7th. Remember, we need people to go to the website and put their email address there and the number of people in their family that will say the rosary so that we can tally up all the pledged rosaries--to 1 million and beyond!

Worth a Listen: Britt Nicole's "Gold"

Worth a Listen (a new feature: sharing great songs that are inspiring, uplifting and/or are otherwise "worth a listen")

My oldest started high school today. High school! Several weeks back, a friend (thank you, Lord, for good friends for girls) introduced her to this song, Brit Nicole's "Gold."  We got it on iTunes and our whole family has been listening to it non-stop pretty much ever since. This "about the song" video is beautiful, and describes the song and its message beautifully. Well worth getting this catchy tune into your head.

Q&A on the "Broken" Series by Mandi of Catholic Newlywed

This month on Reading Catholic, I am determined to share some of the great recent resoures on human sexuality out there.  This will include blogs, podcasts, and other resources I’ve encountered as I reviewed for this month’s column on two great new books, Adam & Eve After the Pill:  Paradoxes of the Sexual Revolution by Mary Eberstadt and My Peace I Give You: Healing Sexual Wounds with the Help of the Saints by Dawn Eden.

Today, I’m honored to get a chance to introduce readers of Reading Catholic and The Catholic Post to Mandi, who writes a charming blog called, “Catholic Newlywed.”  Mandi began a series on her blog this year called “Broken,” that I want to share with The Catholic Post readers.  Mandi, thanks for your willingness to share, and for your great series that I hope even more people will discover.  Here's Mandi, her husband and daughter:

Q.  Tell Reading Catholic readers a little bit about yourself, your family, and how you began blogging.

I started my blog in late 2010, shortly after marrying my husband.  We had a long distance relationship, so when we married, I moved far away from my family and friends and was craving friendship with like-minded Catholic women.  Since then, we welcomed our first child, Lucia, last December and my blog is now a combination of faith, family life, keeping house, and the everyday musings of a Catholic wife and mother.

Q.  How did you get the idea for the “Broken” series?

I was in a “broken” relationship myself several years ago and continue to feel the scars it has left behind.  During the two and a half years that it lasted, I felt very alone and ashamed, without anyone to confide in.  In the time since then, I have realized that my experiences were not nearly as rare as I thought they were.  Slowly, I came to learn that many of the women I had daily contact with had been in similar damaging relationships, but we all felt isolated and alone.  “Broken” is an attempt to provide a channel for speaking out about these relationships.

Q.   What do you hope that women will take away from the “Broken” series?  

I started “Broken” in hopes that it would be a resource for women to gain knowledge, advice, and strength from others who have been in similar damaging relationships.  I believe that had I had more access to “real life” stories from other women, I would have been able to identify my relationship as abusive before it had gone too far and hopefully would have had the strength to get out early.  Discussing and reading about others’ experiences have also helped me to view mine more critically and finally heal some of those wounds.  I thought that if this has helped me, perhaps it will help other women.  My ultimate goal is that perhaps just one young woman will read these stories and be able to completely avoid damaging relationships because of them.

Q.   The series is primarily about women’s experiences.  Have you had any feedback from men, and what do you hope men reading the series will “get” from it?

This is a great question! I originally started this series for women and still tend to think of it as geared toward them; however, women are not the only victims of damaging relationships.  I recently received an email from a woman who shared that her son is in an abusive relationship.  I would love the opportunity to share stories of broken relationships from the male perspective, although I think that men are still a little more reticent about discussing those experiences (but all the more reason they need to be shared).  If there are any men that would like to write a piece, please don’t hesitate to contact me - your voice is important and I do publish pieces anonymously upon request!  


This series can benefit all men in that it gives them a window into the lives of women who have endured damaging relationships.  Since so many women will be in an abusive relationship of some kind in their lifetime, there is a high probability that a man will marry a woman who retains the scars of a past abusive relationship.  It’s important that they are able to understand and identify the scars that their loved ones carry.  Fathers also need to be aware of the kind of relationships that they need to prepare their daughters for and warn them against.  

Q.  Do you have a “favorite” or most-important to read in the series?  I read through each of the selections, and all were so important, well-written and handle tough topics sensitively.   In particular, the post titled, “He didn't really love me and want to protect me. He wanted to control me” was especially well-done.  Do you have one you consider a must-read?

I think they all discuss different important aspects of damaging relationships.  Each woman’s experience is different, so I think it is important to get as many stories as possible out there.  I’m hesitant to say that one is better than the other because each person will be affected by each one differently.  The ones that have been most healing for me based on my past experiences may not have the same meaning for someone else.  I think all the women who have shared have been extremely courageous in telling their story.

Q.  Do you see this as an ongoing series, or do you plan to wrap it up at some time in the future?

As long as there are people willing to share, I will be open to continuing the series.  I think there are many aspects that still need to be addressed.  Particularly, I would be interested in pieces from friends and family of those in damaging relationships.  I would also like pieces that are more advice-based in nature, for example, “how to identify warning signs of a damaging relationship,” or “what to do if someone you know was in an abusive relationship.”  

Q.   Is there anything else you would like to add, or wish I would have asked?

Many of the pieces that have been written so far have dealt with physical or sexual abuse; however, I envisioned the series to include all relationships that are “damaging”.  Many women (and men) have been in relationships  that have left them feeling broken even though their relationships may not meet the definition of abusive.  Relationships in which one person is constantly belittled, in which infidelity is a factor, or which left one (or both) members scarred is a broken relationship.  These stories have a place in the series as well. 


Although I have already addressed this in several questions above, I would like to add that I am always taking new pieces.  If someone reading this feel like he/she has something to contribute, even if it isn’t on a topic I’ve specific addressed interest in, please contact me at catholicnewlywed@gmail.com.

After the Revolution, Rotten Fruit, Discouragement--And Hope: July 2012 Column

During my college years in the 1980s, I was a (nominal) cradle Catholic, and fairly immersed in the college culture of the time.  I was especially drawn to various trendy, or what we called back in the day “politically correct,” ideas and philosophies.

Exhibit A: I thought Gloria Steinem, who spoke at our campus, was glamorous and made terrific sense.

All joking about Gloria Steinem aside, by far the most memorable speaker was a beautiful young woman, a former porn film worker, who gave a speech  (from a feminist perspective) on the evils of pornography.

It gave me--to this day--an implacable hatred of porn as something bad for women and corrosive to society.

I’m incredibly grateful for that speaker, who opened my eyes at such an early age of the high cost of “anything goes.”  But it was awful to sit through and to hear.

Mary Eberstadt’s Adam and Eve After the Pill: Paradoxes of the Sexual Revolution reminds me of hearing that speech.  This book is not enjoyable –in fact, reading it can be downright discouraging.  But it is a must-read in understanding, “the moral core of the sexual revolution (is) the abundant evidence that its fruits have been rottenest for women and children.”

Every single essay-chapter is important and stands alone.  It’s hard to pick out a best chapter, but “The Will to Disbelieve” is crucial in setting up the notion that society at large is largely ignoring the clear results of the sexual revolution, much the same way the “the moral facts about the Cord War remained disputed at the highest intellectual levels, especially on American campuses, until about two seconds before the Berlin Wall came down.”

Perhaps the only hopeful chapter of Adam and Eve After the Pill is “‘Pedophia Chic’ Then and Now” which outlines how just a few short decades ago, pedophilia was more in vogue and even defended in the public square such as mainstream magazine articles.  Ebertstadt writes that it is “a small case of small but real moral progress that bodes a little better for the youngest and most innocent among us, even as it confirms that the sexual revolution has made the world a more dangerous place for them.” 

Hope may be hard to come by when reading Adam and Eve After the Pill, but hope and peace suffuse My Peace I Give You: Healing Sexual Wounds with the Help of the Saints by Catholic convert Dawn Eden.

In many ways, My Peace I Give You is a personal testimonial to the rotten fruits documented in Adam and Eve After the Pill.  As a child of divorce, Eden experienced sexual abuse in various settings, then as a young adult lived promiscuously to “take control” of her sexuality.  But wholeness and true happiness remained elusive.

In Eden’s 2006 international bestseller, The Thrill of the Chaste, Eden wrote about discovering the appeal that modesty and sexual restraint offer, but had not yet come to terms with the legacy of abuse in her life.

   

During and after her conversion to Catholicism, Eden sees that healing from those sexual wounds is ongoing and a work of the Holy Spirit, through specific saints who provide solace on the journey.

As she writes to the many who are childhood sexual abuse victim, “I want you to know you are not alone, you are not forgotten, and you have more friends in heaven than you realize.”

My Peace I Give You is part memoir and part meditations on what the saints can teach us about wholeness of body, mind and spirit, even in the face of searing memories and experiences. 

Some of the saints in My Peace I Give You are victims of sexual abuse; some are not; but in Eden’s heartfelt and careful reflection, all have something to offer those who have undergone abuse, or those whose hearts breaks for them.

This column appears on the book page of the print Catholic Post this weekend.  It's an interesting, I would venture to say providential, "coincidence," that this review appears here on the feast day of St. Maria Goretti.  Eden in particular has an insightful chapter in her book My Peace I Give You on this much-known but little-understood saint. 

A Great Kids Book: The 7 Habits of Happy Kids by Sean Covey

In my occasional series of highlighting great picture books that are worth "having," not just reading, here's another "great kids book":

As I mentioned in my review of The Temperament God Gave Your Kids, I am a big fan of "numbers" books--the 7 Habits, the 5 Love Languages.  There's something about categorizing personality types, productivity and self-improvement that I find irresistible.   It just helps me understand these kind of concepts better, as well as put them into practice.

High on the list of these books is The 7 Habits of Happy Kids by Sean Covey, son of Stephen Covey, who brought the world the many 7 Habits books.  My favorite "7 Habits" book for grown-ups, not surprisingly, is The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families, though I have certainly read quite a few of the series at one time or another.

But truly, if you want a great distillation of the "7 Habits," as well as teaching certain concepts/virtues to yourself or your children in a relatable way, nothing beats The 7 Habits of Happy Kids.

In the book, Sean Covey creates the sylvan community of "7 Oaks" populated with cutesy (but not too cutesy) animal characters like Goob Bear, Jumper Rabbit and Sophie Squirrel. (Stacy Curtis provides the charming illustrations).  Each of the 7 Habits is illustrated in a story featuring several of the animal characters.  For "Have a Plan" (which corresponds to the Covey habit "Begin with the End in Mind"), Goob Bear plans carefully how he will spend his lemonade-stand earnings, and Jumper Rabbit does not.  Jumper blows all his money on junky toys and candy, while Goob buys the bug-collecting kit he previously spotted, as well as some other well-planned treats.

We've read The 7 Habits of Happy Kids many times at our house, both as a group and and individually.  I put it out from time to time so kids can peruse it again.  We always come away with fresh insights.  At one time, though my now-aging children deny it, we had a song to go along with the 7 Habits that I found very catchy and endearing.  Even if our song didn't stick, I'm hoping the message of the 7 Habits did.

"14 Minutes": Life, Death, and Faith

Here is my column that appears in this weekend's print Catholic Post.  I write in my review how I liked it because I'm a runner, but this isn't just a book for runners--it's a book for people who like good books! 

---

Pop quiz:  Who created the following prayer?

Please, Mother, when I die, don’t let me be afraid.  Bring me straight to heaven to your son Jesus.

When I first read it, I thought, is that St. Therese, the Little Flower?  I’m pretty sure it’s not St. Francis, but it does sound a bit like him.  Maybe one of the obscure early child martyrs?

Wrong on all counts. It was a spontaneous prayer--repeated throughout his life-- by a child who had just witnessed something terrible-rescuers unsuccessfully try to revive a drowned boy.

That child grew up to be a regular person.  Okay, maybe not so regular—he’s Alberto Salazar, one of the finest distance runners ever, three-time winner of the New York Marathon and part of America’s glory days of running in the late 1970s and early 1980s.

Salazar, with help from gifted sportswriter John Brant, writes about this prayer—and a whole lot more---in 14 Minutes: A Running Legend’s Life and Death and Life.  The “14 minutes” refers to how long Salazar was without a heartbeat after experiencing a massive heart attack in 2007.  14 Minutes chronicles that (and another) near-death experience, as well as his youth growing up as a Cuban-American immigrant, his dramatic running career, and current life as coach of the Nike Oregon Project, a training program for top distance runners.

14 Minutes isn’t by any stretch a “Catholic” book, and it isn’t an “America’s running glory days” book either, thought it has a lot about both.   Salazar is especially wary of being held up as a Catholic role model, but wants to share honestly his life experience and how much faith has been a part of his journey. 

Mid-book, he writes, “I am not trying to portray myself as a religious expert here, any more than I tried to make a political point when describing my father’s relationship with Castro; I’m simply relating my own experiences and interpretations.”

Instead, 14 Minutes is the memoir of someone who has lived through much, including: the excesses inherent in becoming a world-class athlete; the heartbreak of injuries and illness that cut his career short; family dysfunction and healing; depression and mental health issues; and a reflective Catholic faith. 

Salazar sees the hand of God in every part of his life, but writes, “You have to look hard and long for it and accept that most of the time the touch will remain ineffable.”

14 Minutes reveals a spiritually and emotionally mature Salazar, who looks back on his achievements and his mistakes with equal measure of humility and compassion.

My disclaimer here is that I am a runner, but that isn’t why I liked 14 Minutes so much.    Even though I’ve finished a marathon, all I wanted to do was finish, unlike Salazar, who confides to a close friend in college that he plans to set a world record in the marathon (and then does just that).   It’s clear from the earliest chapters that Salazar is in a different category than the rest of us, when it comes to running.

So while there aren’t training tips to be gleaned from 14 Minutes, readers will learn much about persistence, maturity and faith, all wrapped up in a great sports story.

As I’ve said many times before, I’m decidedly not a fan of the current trend of irreverent semi-fictional memoirs, often written by people far too young to be reflecting on their life “so far.”

But as Sir Walter Scott wrote, “There is no life of a man, faithfully recorded, but is a heroic poem of its sort, rhymed or unrhymed.”  A well-told memoir like 14 Minutes is a testimony to the heroic in one man’s life, and offers each reader a chance to reflect on the heroic is every person.

Book Trailer for "The Temperament God Gave Your Kids"

I found this trailer for The Temperament God Gave Your Kids, one of the books reviewed in my Catholic Post column this month, very endearing.  Enjoy!

The Temperament God Gave Your Kids: Not A Parenting Book

Following is my monthly column that appears in the print Catholic Post.  I invite your feedback here, or elsewhere online. 

In May, I like to focus on books that could potentially make great Mother’s Day gifts.  But while I love to read all sorts of parenting books, I hesitate long and hard before recommending them.  There are just so many varied ways to be a great Catholic parent.

Fortunately, The Temperament God Gave Your Kids: Motivate, Discipline and Love Your Children by Art & Laraine Bennett is not a parenting book.  Rather, it’s an explanation of the classical four temperaments, and how to work with those temperaments to have the best possible relationship with your kids, whatever your parenting style.  I truly enjoyed this book, and the Bennetts’ no-nonsense, kind approach to working with your child’s-and your own-temperament .

The Bennetts write not just as counselors, but fellow parents.  They have written two previous Temperament books, but I think this is their most mature effort.  You can easily glean your own temperament, as well as that of your loved ones, by reading this book (and taking the one-page  back-of-book temperament quiz).

Briefly, the four temperaments are: choleric (strong-willed & determined); melancholic (quiet & introspective);  sanguine (eager & sociable); and  phlegmatic (cooperative & peaceful).

When I strong-armed encouraged every member of our family to complete the quiz, I found that our temperaments were pretty much as expected.  Most helpful, though, was learning how these temperaments interact in a positive or negative way, and suggestions for a different way of looking at my role as a mom.   That means I treat a melancholic child differently than a sanguine or choleric child, all within my own parenting style.

The Bennets write: “Parents will find it far easier to help their children grown emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually when they build on their children’s natural strengths.”  Amen to that.

Once you understand your temperament and those of your kids (and spouse), you will be nodding along with the chapters describing slightly different you might want to parent, and also nodding along with their sage advice.

Those who know me are aware that when it comes to parenting/self-help books, I am a great fan of the numbers types of books—the five love languages, the seven habits of happy families, and the like.  What’s different—and better—about The Temperament book is the Bennett’s Catholic sensibility.  They promote knowing about the temperament in order to work with nature, instead of prescribing a “one size fits all” parenting philosophy.

I also especially loved the chapter “Growing in Virtue” which lists the virtues that come easy to each of the temperaments and ones that “need work.”  Having that information is so helpful in helping our children reach their full potential.

Maurice Sendak, RIP: UPDATED

Rest in peace, Maurice Sendak.

Our family has a long association with Maurice Sendak, children's book author and illustrator.  In my childhood, I (or at least our house) had a copy of Where the Wild Things Are.  I especially loved Max's room and how his supper was warm in it.  We weren't ever allowed to eat in our bedrooms.  To the young me, it seemed fantastic and wonderful that Max could have supper in his room, especially after such misbehavior and such an adventure (even in his dreams).

When my husband and I were first married and he had convinced me that a puppy was a good idea, the first book we read together about it was The Art of Raising Your Puppy by the Monks of New Skete, an order of Orthodox brothers who train dogs as their charism.  For some reason, it was comforting that Maurice Sendak had his dogs trained personally with the Monks, as they discuss in the books.

And when children came to our house, Where the Wild Things Are was a perennial favorite at bedtime.  In particular, after a bad day, it was one of the very reliable soothing books, along with Goodnight Moon and really anything by Margaret Wise Brown.   Knowing that your supper would be waiting for you after adventures, that mom and dad will love you no matter how "wild" you are.  It's just a perfect book.  With every one of our children, whenever I got to the line, "and Max wanted to be where someone loved him best of all..."  each one of our children would blurt out, "with his mommy and his daddy" as if it were in actually written in the text, and so for that book, for us, it is.

When I kept a personal blog many years ago, I had pseudonyms for my children, and our son's name was "Max."  Now you know why.

Somewhere, many years ago, I read that Where The Wild Things Are is like a kids' version of the Parable of the Prodigal Son.  Read it again with that in mind, and I think you will agree.

We have never seen the movie that was made several years back.  None of us really wanted to, even though the promotions were quite appealing.  I just don't know how you can improve upon or make a full-length movie about a perfect picture book.  It's like making a movie about The Runaway Bunny.  How can it possibly be any good?

Maurice Sendak illustrated, but did not write, the Little Bear books (writing was by Else Holmelund Minarik) , and I saw an interview with Sendak once in which he mentioned how important it was for him to get the mother illustrated just so.  The illustrations are what "make" the Little Bear series, and noticed how the picture that Little Bear drew in the story, A Kiss for Little Bear is a primitive Wild-Thing like monster.  The Little Bear books were so popular young-age books at our house.  Our oldest had "Birthday Soup" memorized at 3 years old--there's a video of that somewhere (oh, what did we people do who had kids before YouTube?).  We also know large parts of most of the rest of the Little Bear books.  I have especially fond memories of illustrations in The Goblin Story and Little Bear is Not Sleepy and oh, just about all the others.  So I'm going to stop now.

Sendak had a book come out in the last year, but it was not well-reviewed.  I didn't like all of Sendak's work, so it wouldn't surprise me if this one isn't great.  Where the Wild Things Are and Little Bear are enough to make him well-loved at our house.

UPDATE:

Earlier today, I was driving into town to meet my husband for noon Mass, and I listened to a part of the NPR show "Fresh Air" where today, the show replayed several previous interviews host Terry Gross did with Sendak in recent years.  [As a total aside, can I say that she is an AMAZING interviewer when not constrained by the age of celebrity and uber-scripted interviews, which sadly is most of the time these days].

She asked Sendak at one point about his lack of faith (Sendak had been raised Jewish), and mentioned she thought his unbelief seemed to grow stronger instead of being tested.  He said something along the lines of (I'm paraphrasing here) "oh, yes, absolutely, I don't think there is anything after death, which is why it's so sad when my friends die."   And yet he said he did not fear death, and did not mind getting old as it allowed him time to read books and listen to great music. But then he said,  a choke in his voice, "I believe I will see my brother again."

From the "Fresh Air" page with the entire interview, well worth a listen:

"I have nothing now but praise for my life. I'm not unhappy. I cry a lot because I miss people. They die and I can't stop them. They leave me and I love them more. ... What I dread is the isolation. ... There are so many beautiful things in the world which I will have to leave when I die, but I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready."

After listening to this, and hearing his search for the good and beautiful, I can only to pray for him in the fond hope that he is re-united with his brother, where are all re-united perfectly.  I need to start a category in labels of "not far from the Kingdom of God," for which I consider Maurice Sendak in that category, along with Steve Jobs.   All these Emeths (from C.S. Lewis' The Last Battle who "all find what they truly seek."

A Great Catholic Kids Book: Seven Lonely Places, Seven Warm Places

This isn't a regular feature here, but really should be: great Catholic books for kids.  I am especially interested in books that are great to read aloud.

Here's a must-have.  I'm recommending this not just as a one-time read, but a book to add to your library and read often.  It's Seven Lonely Places, Seven Warm Places: The Vices and Virtues for Children by April Bolton, illustrated by Brent Beck.  It was first published in 2003 by St. Anthony Messenger Press (now known as Franciscan Media).

My own children are generally great judges of what makes a good read-aloud, as we have done so much of it over the years, and they have always loved this book.  But I knew Seven Lonely Places, Seven Warm Places was a real winner when I read it to six different grades at our children's Catholic grade school.  Many of those kids fidget, or will tell me or show me flat out, when a book does not interest them.  All of the grades--from K through 5th grade--sat in rapt attention during the reading of this book.  And the comments! Oh the comments! The discussions we had about this book, the illustrations, the message.  Especially from kindergarteners.

I strongly urge you to have this book on hand, read it to your kids, and sit back and wait for some amazing discussions about virtues.  Here's a link to the publisher's website for the book, and I'm sure it's available at various Catholic retailers.